apologize by OneRepublic

Apologize by one republic had been my hele at night. I’ve been playing it twice as much as the other tracks whether its on cellphone or ipod. Same line-up every night. I had never been this senti since 3rd year because I really hate listening to something that makes me feel so lonely, not until now. I am beginning to absorb every word that was spoken by the vocalist accompanied by beautiful melody. (this is not a review for the song but this is a review to my feelings)

I haven’t memorized the lyrics word by word, its not the whole lyrics that touched my realization but the chorus.

“its too late to apologize”…

what’s done has done.

Simpleng tao. Maraming nagawang pagkakamali. Nangyari na ang mga dapat mangyari, and everything has a reason. It has been proven to me many times. I have regretted things I’ve done but not everything. Let’s just say this is reality. This is my reality and no matter how many times I will make mistakes, its up to me on how to stand up and face the consequences. Pero syempre, its hard to face an event where you will say “oh wait! This is déjà vu” then at the back of your mind youll tell yourself, “badtrip talaga! Sana noon palang ginawa ko na yun para din na ulit nangyari to”. But in the end instead of having a closure with your heart and mind youll always end up at the wrong part of decision making.

I came to a point where I have to choose between two people. I didn’t actually choose in the end, I just let everything happened and viola! The decision makers are this two people.

There are regrets because somehow I felt freedom but I didn’t know what will I get after this. Will I be happy in the arms of another or will I long for him where I found love from the beginning? Its not easy swallowing the decision of other people when you didn’t know if it’s the right turn.

Once is enough twice, thrice… to be continued as in infinity.

Have you been abused In a sense that you thought it’ll be the right thing to do such as helping others?

I’ve realized that I was one of those ABUSED.

It’s human nature; helping others just to make yourself feel better knowing that you’ve shared some of your blessings. My mistake is that I didn’t realized that some problems are meant to be solved personally or individually, without the help of others to avoid extreme dependency.

They did not take time to think on how to show their gratitude.
I told myself that its enough. They don’t know how to give in return. How about some kiss or hug? It makes me feel better. But it never crossed their minds, I guessed so,,,
I owe myself an apology for giving them the opportunity to abuse my helping hand.

But,,

Apology unaccepted.

Its too late…